Why am I so upset and lonely all the time?
Hello!
Thanks for the question. Let me tell you with this question you already have come up to 50% closer to the solution. Now with answer to this question, remaining 50% will help you realize which will eventually lead to awareness. Every human is upset and lonely but every human doesn’t ask why. If we ask we get answers and answers leads to solution.
Let me answer your question first and then tell you how you can find your answers by yourself. Firstly, we should understand the concept of being upset. Being upset is the state which comes from dissatisfaction. Whenever something doesn’t happen as we want, we get dissatisfied whether that is our opinion to be agreed or some plans/actions to be executed. If some ideas we suggest is opposed/if we are misunderstood for our words/ if we are not getting support, we feel dissatisfied. As we get dissatisfied, we eventually start feeling disappointed and when the feeling of disappointment continues longer, we feel upset. Once a person is upset, he/she feels like no one understands him/her because in the particular moment whatever the person said or proposed was not accepted/agreed. When a person face difference of opinion with every second person he/she meets, the person end up feeling lonely.
Loneliness is the feeling of missing someone. It’s a feeling of emptiness. If you remember whenever you thought you find someone who understands you whether it’s your friend or some other relationship, you will know that you were not with them together the entire time. You had spent some parts of your day or perhaps 1–2 days without anyone around you, completely alone. Were you upset at that time? No, because at that time you were properly understood, agreed and supported. So, you enjoyed your space even when you were alone at that time. Now, this time the situation is reversed and the situation made you feel lonely. (Loneliness and being alone is different thing if you want to know the difference you can click here , else you can completely ignore it. )
Here what we need to understand is feeling lonely and upset is not a crime. It happens and it’s completely normal. Even stars who have millions of supporters feel lonely because the one whom they expect is not in their favor. And with my experience what I have feel is trying to fit in the circle where there is no any common opinion, likes, interest, mindset leads to dissatisfaction, disappointment and eventually loneliness. So, we should be very careful to identify the right circle as a wrong circle/person can directly leave imprints in our mind with no single clue. Loneliness is the main root for almost every negative feeling likely to have in one’s life. In order to avoid loneliness, try to identify the right circle/person without involving much, so that you don’t feel unsupported (which is the root cause of loneliness).
Sometimes, uniqueness can bring loneliness in one’s life. If you see closely, society fails to accept everyone. Some people with different ability, different gender, different culture, caste, religion, profession are often not supported by everyone. Even greatest scientists which are highly respected and loved today were once feeling lonely because of the unique mindset. It’s all about contentment. If one is contented, there is no feeling of loneliness and upset.
Now let me share something more about your question. We may not know many thing going around us but we know what’s going within us. It’s just that sometimes we are too filled with external factors that we are unable to rectify by own. So, whenever we have question about us, like the reason behind some kind of feeling that we feel, always remember the answer is within us. The only problem is we are unable to unlock because of the thoughts and pain taking over our mind. At that time, what we have to do is pick up a notebook and start writing whatever is going in our head. Once it’s done we can know why we got such feeling and how to sort it out. Sometimes asking these kind of question to wrong person can spoil your portion of life as different people with different perspective can mislead you. So, if possible try to find out by own and if still feel unanswered, you can go for search but before trusting anyone blindly, you need to enquire yourself whether it was so or not and come to conclusion.
Although with my fact finding, this is the root problem I’ve got till now but I will still suggest you to write a journal for your own answer as you are the one who know your story, your situation, your mindset better. Everyone has unique life and this uniqueness makes each life beautiful. Keep exploring your life and finding your own answers. Feel the feeling and know the reason.
So readers, I hope this question and answer gets connected with you as well. Hope you find the joy while exploring your life.
